Family dinner

Does it feel like Monday today or what? I've been so confused all morning, setting out a gym-day outfit for the wrong girl, gearing up for the wrong after-school activity, and wondering whether the trash goes out or not. But I love this kind of week, the short kind. It'll be Friday even before we can moan, "Is it Friday yet?"

We had a nice long weekend here at the Paradis homestead. Jason turns 35 today, so I got the idea to take him out on Sunday for his birthday. Little did I know that Sunday was the day that both the Red Sox and the Patriots would be playing. (And losing.) It worked out okay, though - we headed over to Bar Louie at Patriot Place to watch the games. The food was good, and the beer was good, but as halftime approached and we'd already been sitting there for two or three hours, we decided to make a mad dash home to watch the rest of the game on the couch, drinking our fridge beer for half the price. I don't want to use the term "old farts," but let's just say that we didn't even touch any more beers at home, and I was dozed off on the couch in my pj's by 8:15.

Still, it was nice to be able to walk around the house, talking in full voice after 7:30pm because there were no sleeping children about. And it was really nice to wake up on our own terms the next morning, which is usually my favorite part about sending the kids over to Grandma's for a sleepover.

So then, after having the wonderful chance to actually miss the kids, we all gathered around the table last night for a family dinner. I made lasagna, Jason's favorite meal, in honor of it being his birthday eve. We dined on matching plates, the novelty and excitement of which still has not worn off, and enjoyed each other's company. After we ate, we decided to play this game that makes us laugh when we're all together at the table. (That doesn't happen often because Jason usually works late.) One person, the judge, picks an emotion, and the rest of the participants have to pose in their best display of that feeling. Then the judge chooses the most convincing poser as the winner.

Well, last night we took our game to the next level. Now it's more about improv than modeling. Jason, as the first judge, created a scenario for each of us and we had to act accordingly. So, for "excited," he told Annabelle that we were going to Disney World, Madeleine that she was getting a pony, and me that we had won $127 million in the lottery. (Annabelle's reaction was the most genuinely excited-looking, so she won that round.) Next, Annabelle judged and chose "embarrassed" as the feeling she wanted us to emote. She told her sister that her friends were looking at her while she was getting dressed in her bedroom. (I guess they were supposed to have been hiding in the closet or something? Creepy!) Coming up with Jason's scenario was tricky - he doesn't embarrass easily. So Mad and I pretended to be his bosses, sitting at dinner with Jason after work one day. Annabelle pretended to be the waiter, who gave Jason the old, "I'm sorry, Sir, but your card's been declined." The girls' performances were great, but Jason remained annoyingly unrattled.

But the best was the scenario they cooked up to get me to act embarrassed: I was on a job interview, sitting across the table from my prospective boss, Annabelle. She asked me to tell her a little about myself, and as I began to answer, Madeleine, crouched on the floor right behind my bum, made farting noises. It was hysterical! We were all laughing so hard, we forgot to pick a winner.

The whole dinnertime was awesome because I actually enjoyed myself. I know this makes me sound like a jerk, but I usually HATE to sit down at the dinner table. I prefer to serve the kids and then go do my thing for the few minutes that I know Nathan is sitting down somewhere. And who wants to sit down and eat the gross dinners that I've made, anyway? Not me! (shudder) But I know that's wrong, and that I need to be a good role model for table manners and eating, and that it's a great opportunity to have family time and talk about our day. So, now that we've got the new dishes and use non-disposable cups like city-folk, I'm sitting down at the table more and allowing myself to relax and enjoy it a little.

Enough, already

Sigh. I'm getting a little tired of bumping into people who expose my incompetence (inmompetence???) by either a) having their shit together so much better than I do, or b) asking questions to which I don't, but definitely should, know the answers.

Example #1: I'm at a birthday party this weekend, having a nice relaxing time watching Mad run around with her mates, when out of nowhere my consistently awe-inspiring mom friend asks me what I'm making for dinner. "Dunno," I shrug with complete distaste and disinterest. "Oh," she grins, "Well, I'm making noodles."

I stare at her blankly, a little relieved, because, well, she's only making pasta. Even I can do that.

But wait - she's looking a little too smug, and what's with that grin? Something's wrong. I run her words back in my head,"...making noodles," as in making the noodles? From dough?? She mimes the action of cranking the pasta out of her little pasta-making machine, delighted by my disbelief as I catch on.

Ugh.

(I ended up ordering pizza that night.)

Example #2: I'm out shopping with the girls this morning, enjoying our last morning together before school starts back up, when an impeccably-dressed sales clerk asks the kids when they start school. "Tomorrow," they groan. "Oh!" she exclaims perkily, "So, do you already have your outfits all picked out and ready to go?" They look over at me, uncertain.

No, I don't know what they're going to wear yet. I mumble something about not knowing what the weather's supposed to be like, as though that's really why I haven't got anything sorted. Hell, I don't even know what time the school day starts or where exactly to drop them off, now that they've switched to the neighborhood school.

Example #3: I'm sitting at my computer, typing a blog post, when Nathan comes up and asks sweetly, "What are we gonna have?" As in, for dinner. Ah, yes, look - it's 5:21 pm, and the law says something about taking care of these little people who live in my home. I should probably have started making something for dinner by now.

Have you ever had a moment like these? Please share if so. In the meantime, I've got to run - I have hungry children closing in around me like zombies in the Thriller video...